Category Archives: Parenting

Why is it so Hard to Change Problem Behavior?

The answer is actually quite simple.  Our understanding of how to change problem behavior comes from our understanding of why the problem behavior exists in the first place. And our explanation for why people behave poorly is typically wrong! When someone doesn’t behave or perform as we would like them to, our default assumption is

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When Children Say ‘I Can’t,’ but They Can, and Adults Know It

Jessica Lahey’s January 13th Parenting Blog post in the New York Times is an excellent example of what we call “conventional wisdom,” the common belief that when kids aren’t meeting our expectations, they are just trying to avoid something or get something. We get this message all the time, and it can make both kids and

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A great story to share from one of our Certified Mentors who is a passionate advocate for CPS:

Matt and Mandy began attending a monthly CPS Support Group in Feb 2014 in NJ for challenging behaviors that Matt’s 6 year son, Ryan, was exhibiting. They were skeptical at first, but came with an open mind and a true desire to help Ryan and for a more peaceful household. They had a lot of

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The Turning Tide Away from Conventional Wisdom

This recent piece from the Atlantic magazine highlights the ways in which there is an increasing scientific consensus among neuroscientists and others that conventional approaches to discipline are misguided. It lends further powerful support to efforts to “think differently” about challenging kids and to take approaches to them, like Collaborative Problem Solving, that actually foster

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Resolve to Problem Solve

Looking for a New Year’s Resolution that you can keep and that will bring peace to your whole family in 2015?  Why not resolve to problem solve?  When your child asks for something, instead of automatically saying “no”, say “What’s up?.”  When you are dreading asking your child to do something, instead of threatening removal

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