Think:Kids Home

	1/26/2012 6:44:21 AM
topic: Drilling down for concerns in a classroom Allan Posts 134	Drilling down for concerns is important if we want to solve problems Behaviorists will use motivators to deal with ' behaviors' . Even if the motivators get rid of the behavior and the student manages to pull himself together and perform , it is usually despite an existing problem. The problem or unmet concerns are still not being met. This of course has a negative impact on intrinsic motivation. Not only because extrinsic motivators undermine intrinsic motivation but also underlying problems are not being solved http://tiny.cc/98ebs Allan
	1/18/2012 12:27:54 PM
topic: Need Help in ATLANTA METROPOLITAN AREA danielw Posts 1	Hello, I am also interested in finding a therapist who practices with the CPS approach. Have you had any luck? Dan
	1/16/2012 11:31:34 AM
topic: When the kid CHOOSES not to do Allan Posts 134	I apologize for not replying sooner see http://tiny.cc/wkno2 for my response I hope this helps Allan
	1/8/2012 9:04:49 AM
topic: When the kid CHOOSES not to do learningsharp Posts 2	Let's use the Video series on the site about the boy who isn't brushing his teeth. They did some wonderful CPS and he will now brush his teeth w/o toothpaste. But what happens if he STILL doesn't brush his teeth, even w/ supports and reminders (maybe they do some CPS and agree to using an alarm to remind him, or a trigger reminder from mom or dad). Yet he still says "soon", "in a few", "I don't want to". You revisit the conversation and can't come up with any new concerns.. just kid doesn't feel it's sooo important and isn't feeling the need. Is there anything you recommend at this point other than parents letting go of their expectation. And this is a scenario that effects only the kid - his teeth, his future. What about the scenario where the kid is leaving the bathroom (shared by sibling) a mess. You have the conversations, you understand his concerns (in a rush in am, need to chill after school, then want to get to work... "what's the big deal"). He knows your concern - it's shared space, not considerate, makes mom unhappy to see mess, gets in siblings way. Kid agrees they will try... but doesn't really CARE. Battle continues. Is mom left letting go of expectation and doing herself? I see tremendous value in the process, don't get me wrong. But there are times when a kid just doesn't care more about the other persons concern more than their own. So what do you do to have the adult concern met?
	1/6/2012 4:48:03 AM
topic: The social navigator Allan Posts 134	Assistive technology can be helpful with kids' learning difficulties, but what about social difficulties and problem solving. The social navigator is a gadget designed to help kids with problem solving and social skills http://tiny.cc/lygs4 Allan
	12/14/2011 4:36:40 PM
topic: Certified trainer and therapist in Wisconsin Jeff Krukar Posts 3	Hi Folks, I'm a Think:Kids certified trainer and work in Wisconsin at a residential center that has implemented CPS across our residential groups. I also have a part-time practice in the Milwaukee area and follow CPS for much of my work with kids and families. For inquiries on training, indvidual sessions, and consultation services, please email me at npsychotherapy@yahoo.com, leave your contact information with phone number and I'll get back to you as soon as possible - thanks! Jeff Krukar, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
	12/5/2011 1:37:13 PM
topic: contracts or understandings Allan Posts 134	It is possible to distinguish parenting styles by the language used. Do we talk about rules , limits and boundaries , compliance or the needs of children ,expectations and guidelines, collaborative problem solving or consequences, rewards or intrinsic motivation, understandings, perspectives and concerns or adult – child contracts. The differences can be summarized as a ' working with ' approach or a ' doing to ' approach, placing the locus of control on the kid or on the adult. Are we interested in compliance or meeting the needs of our kids ? Meeting the needs of kids - autonomy, competence and relatedness will depend on the language we use when we parent or teach kids http://tiny.cc/ogv14 Allan http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com
	11/29/2011 1:12:24 PM
topic: Finding the time to work with challenging students Allan Posts 134	Hi, I hear that it is a grade 4 class , 22 kids , 7 challenging , 10 = dream class -I am not sure about your comment - a group of low achieving students In order to work with individual kids I think we need help from the better kids who can be peer mentors in the class. I would try and divide the class into groups , so we have at least 2 stronger kids to 1 challenging child. maybe 4-5 groups , you know them better. When there is group learning , kids are more engaged and the better kids take responsibility for the kids who are struggling. CPS in the classroom - I would prepare a thinking skills inventory for each kid - the lagging skills and examples/problems that need to be solved, then prioritize the kids time - before school , recess, after school , get a teacher to take your class and during this time work with the kid. help from others in your building - the interactions mainly take place in your class , so you are the main player , but maybe the school psychologist or counselor can be brought in the picture and maybe she could do some plan B with these kids. You would need to educate others about cps . Cps should be done slowly - getting the child's concerns on the table - should be realy slow - we don't need to go through all the steps in one session I will private mail you as well Allan
	11/28/2011 11:13:12 PM
topic: Finding the time to work with challenging students Sheri7 Posts 1	Hi there. I just joined tonight because I have several challenging students in my grade 4 class. I have 22 students in total: about half would be considered a "dream class" because they are internally motivated, helpful, hardworking and focused. I also have 7 who would be considered very challenging for a variety of reasons (distracted, disruptive, defiant, frequent fights, frequent meltdowns, etc.) The others are fairly "typical" kids in that they misbehave occasionally, but are easily redirected and the usual positive/negative reinforcement stuff works with them quite well. I try very hard to take kids aside and help them through their challenges, but 9 times out of 10 if I am talking with one challenging child, 2 or 3 others are stirring up trouble while I'm doing it. I try to stand in the doorway of my classroom with the door open so I can see in, but I can still provide privacy for the student I'm talking to. During this time, I have these more challenging kids out of their seats, yelling across the room, getting in to fights with others and sometimes having full meltdowns in which things get thrown and people get hurt. I've had at least 3 parents of the well-behaved kids express concerns about the behaviour in the class and how much learning is happening in the class, and to be honest I can't say I blame them. Although the behaviour has improved tremendously since the start of the year, it's still not an environment that promotes learning. I've been teaching for 10 years and I've never had a class that was this far off track before. I've had challenging students before, but never more than 2 or 3 at once, and never THIS challenging. In addition to this, I have a group of extremely low achieving students. I want desperately to be able to help those kids with their reading and math, but I spend so much time dealing with misbehaviour that I never have that time to correct misconceptions or work one on one or even in small groups to help them. I would love to try collaborative problem solving with these difficult kids, but I don't know how to structure things so that I can work with them AND teach the class, too. Any/all advice is welcome. Thanks.
	11/15/2011 11:26:07 AM
topic: Skype and Email counselling Allan Posts 134	Hi, I have been encouraged to be make myself more avaliable to help parents and teachers work together with their families using CPS. I wil also share concepts from RDI - relationship development interventions - where learning and problem solving skills can be promoted around day to day activities in the home I can be reached email - AllanKatzblog@gmail.com Skype Allan Katz / Allankatzparenting Take care http://allankatz-parenting.blogspot.com
	11/15/2011 11:18:00 AM
topic: Food issues Allan Posts 134	Food issues can be a source of a lot of conflict. It is one of the areas where we have very little control except to provide plenty of choice , plenty of snacks and drinks in between meals, making sure everything is healthy and tasty. If everytthing is healthy and tasty , we can give kids the freedom to choose and avoid conflict. We can also spend time with kids learning about a healthy diet , what foods our bodies need , what is good for the body and what is bad for the body. They can then particpate in planning meals, helping in the kitchen and actually preparing meals. We can problem solve with them out of the moment in how we can meet our personal needs in a family dinner. Using Plan A with kids , bribing them to finish food and clean the plate can lead to childhood obesity http://tiny.cc/0gqvf Allan http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com
	10/31/2011 3:41:09 AM
topic: ART vs CPS? Tom Posts 1	Hi, my son, aged 9 and diagnosed with Asperger and ADHD, is a typical explosive child. After having read a lot about Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) and being convinced that CPS would be good for my son, I mentioned this approach to our psychologist. She however recommended another treatment, Aggression Replacement Training (ART), maybe because there happens to be such a therapist in our town. I do not know much about ART but I suspect this is a lot different than CPS. What is your opinion about this? Tom
	10/24/2011 1:52:34 PM
topic: intro to CPS in VA tsearls Posts 1	The Virginia Treatment Center for Children in Richmond, Virginia is holding a free class on Collaborative Problem Solving Basics on October 25 from 7-8 pm. The center is located at 515 North 10 street in Richmond, VA.
	9/20/2011 7:08:56 AM
topic: Restorative justice Allan Posts 134	Restorative Justice approach is gaining acceptance all over the world. IMHO it supports the human needs of autonomy, competence and especially relatedness . The Paintball case illustrates this. The process is similar to CPS -perpective taking,concerns of others, mutually satisfying solutions.The CPS starting point is the kid's lagging skills.The RJ process is very appropriate for schools http://tiny.cc/4w9e9 Allan http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com
	9/8/2011 2:22:51 AM
topic: The importance of ' questions in cps Allan Posts 134	Hi, questions are the basis to thinking and communication. We have to teach kids to communicate with questions and let their thinking be driven by questions http://tiny.cc/c07zh Allan
	8/28/2011 6:50:02 AM
topic: Language difficulties and CPS Allan Posts 134	Often kids will express their frustration and poor copings skills with hitting, spitting, swearing etc Teaching a feelings vacab or calming techniques is dealing with the symptom. The symptom is the hitting - the cause is the ' unsolved problem and the lagging skills which get in the way of solving the problem. When we use cps and actually solve the problem we avoid the frustration and the need to calm down or express the frustration appropriately. When kids don't have the lanuage or find it difficult to articualte their concerns we can have a list of predicatable concerns or pictures. Feelings vacab can be useful , but it is more important to give them the vcab of needs and concerns. Validating feelings can be a trigger , validating concerns not http://tiny.cc/zkvyk Allan
	8/22/2011 11:58:45 AM
topic: Misbehaving with only one parent Allan Posts 134	Hi, I agree with you that she feels safe to be herself with you and not hold in her frustrations. At school there are many factors such as the herd mentality, embarrassment factor , structure , predictability, which helps a kid to hold in her frustration. The only way you could be encouraging the misbehavior if you were being too demanding and inflexible. The so-called ' acting out', behaviors on the spectrum of looking bad occur when the demands place on her outstrip her skills . They are driven by an internal frustration, an intensity , which cannot be switched on and off in order to manipulate parents. I know I could not scream for more than a minute if I decided to scream - I don't have the intensity and short fuse. The cps process helps the intensity to subside. Even if we believe that the negative behavior is not a product of lagging/poor coping skills and she uses her negative behavior on you because she knows that she can get away with it ,we need to help her connect to her inner self and get the attention that we are strive for in a happy and adaptive way. Avoiding negative behavior because of some reward or punishment is not being your natural self. Good language skills - kids may have good language but don't have the vocab - something the matter/ bothering me , I need help , I don't know what to do , I need a break, I need some time to think, etc we need to encourage kids to express needs/ concerns that can initiate problem solving. Expressing feelings might help the kid to use words , but does not tell us what problems need to be solved. Strong willed/ODD - temperament plays a role , diagnosis especially the descriptive types like ODD tell us nothing. Better to find out under what conditions - where the demands placed on her outstrip the skills she has . I don't like to describe the problem as neurological which seems to demand medication but rather a developmental delay , lagging skills. Check the Thinking skills inventory - http://thinkkids.org/docs/TSI%2010-09.pdf and make a list of unsolved problems. Going through this list helps one to wear new lenses - lagging skills rather than deliberate skillful thinking and manipulation. Brain science - there is plenty of research -see Daniel Siegel - that when kids have healthy , warm and unconditional attachments with parents so that they feel safe with them and their parents encourage a dynamic that encourages lots of communication and thinking , brain growth is promoted. Limits should be set in a way that focuses on thinking and reasons that take into account the kids concerns. CPS promotes skills, attachment and brain growth. The lagging skills are taught indirectly by solving real problems , addressing both the kid's and your concerns and brainstorming solutions. The way to go. Relax the atmosphere. Plenty of dance, music , joy and laughter. Try to let go for the moment , prioritize and use Plan C so we reduce the negative interactions. Instead of telling her what to do , together make a schedule with pictures of her day with bedtime and other rituals - so it is her list and not you telling her what to do. Conversation - trying to transcend the daily tasks /instructions and make them a learning experience - the guide by the side - the kitchen is a great place . Get her to speak , we using dialog questions helping her to focus on perspective talking, the concerns and feelings of others Time with mentors, older sisters , family members who focus on conversation is great. When one spouse is not on the same page it is important that he gets the message that cps is working , rewarding but not easy. You have to nurture yourself so that you are a source of joy and hope. When we complain to especially husbands they feel they need to step in with the quick fix. Besides the 3 cps books , the cps web sites , I recommend Playful Parenting by L Cohen and Myrna Shure's ' Raising a thinking child I hope this helps http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com Allan edited by Allan on 8/22/2011
	8/19/2011 11:44:07 AM
topic: Misbehaving with only one parent lyl Posts 1	Hi, We've have been struggling with our 5 year old for about 3 years now. The case of the terrible twos were very terrible (constant, long tantrums, whining, etc.). Although for her age, she had very good language skills (had a lots of vocabulary and could talk using full sentences early on), we didn't understand why she would not use her words to express frustration. Anyhow, fast forward to now that she's already 5, and we still have the same problems. She has her moments of frustration in which she gets enraged...these moments are often. I'm unsure of what's going on with her, but I'm starting to think she's not only a "strong willed" child but could she have ODD? In talking to my husband about it, he believes that our daughter does not have a neorological problem but rather behavioral. He believes she uses her negative behavior on me because she knows that she can get away wtih it. It's true that she doesn't do it to him, and I know that in school, it's not common for her to do this (althoug she did at times defy teachers), so why is this happening constantly with me? Am I encouraging the misbehavior or is it that she feels safe exploding with me because I'm her primary care giver (my husband works long hours and really doesn't spend too much time with her during the weekdays and on weekends I'm the one who feeds her/bathes her/etc.). Could this be it? Thank you
	8/14/2011 11:56:03 AM
topic: Let kids take their time - the power of pause Allan Posts 134	RDI - relationship Development intervention is an approach developed for kids on the autism spectrum that shares a lot with Ross Greene's collaborative problem solving. They both focus on dynamic intelligence such as problem solving skills, executive functions and other cognitive skills. In order to facilitate thinking we need to go slow and tell kids ' take your time - see the video clip. Using pause as part of our vocab and conversations also allows kids to think , reflect and anticipate http://tiny.cc/nut9c I hope this helps Allan
	8/11/2011 6:39:51 AM
topic: Accountability - making sincere apologies Allan Posts 134	Hi, Joe Bower , a role model SDT teacher has a blog exploring autonomous and authentic apologies. He quotes Deci and Ryan explaining the need for intrinsic motivation to facilitate kids focusing on the feelings of others and less on themselves. here http://tiny.cc/a5b2u - also shares the link to Joe Bower's blog post 1 I recommend the apology comes at the end of the problem solving process, once the kid has a vision of the future , the type of person he wants to be - the apology will be sincere and the kid's self esteem intact 2 character education should be about ' relatedness' and not about doing and collecting good deeds. Allan http://allankatz-parentingislearning.blogspot.com
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