Think:Kids Home

	9/7/2010 3:42:03 PM
topic: Why only at home?? Angela Church Posts 27	Hi Allan, the mediation finally took place yesterday, 7 September. I'm not allowed to have a copy of the psychologist's report but the bottom liine is that she has suggested family counselling for me and my dd. Yay!!! AND, the lawyers involved (for children's services and for dd) have agreed to find a therapist, preferably a child psychologist who can counsel us using the CPS model. More yay! A crotchety old lawyer a year ago told me that I was fighting "City Hall" in getting someone to agree with CPS. I so want to call him and tell him but it would just be a waste of energy I think. I've prepared a new Family Book folder and loaded it with a weekly meeting agenda, suggested family rules and family mission statement, added your notes from below as applicable and now will wait for the miracle worker to assist us with this. DD will believe the rules to be more valid if another person assists. It's hard to explain, but she still thinks I can fix anything but somehow at the same time mistrusts my attempts to do so sometimes - or at least I think she does - she's been in foster care for 10 months now (she spent weekends with me until April). At the back of the Family Book are my other tools: lists of fun things to do together - from going for bike rides to visiting an art gallery and everything in between; the Think:Kids printouts - Thinking Skills Reference, etc; a printout from the Foundation for Children with Behavioural Challenges - Caregiver Handout - this sums up CPS; printouts from Dr Greene's site; EFT summary sheet; Social Skills Checklist; Age-Appropriate Chore Lists for Kids (from www.freepintablebehaviourcharts.com) - a guide for me; and a A Sleep Cheat Sheet. What's your opinion on this. Children's Services insisted that I stop allowing dd to wear DryNites pajama pants. She was very angry about this at first but has adjusted. The longest she has gone dry at night in a row is about two weeks - the reward for doing so from her current foster home was a new pair of boots. ( She's getting lots of gifts there by the way - but then the foster dad's dad is best friends with dd's paternal grandfather. The family are Children's Services approved carers but she is their first foster child. Wow - can't get much more non-arm's-length connection than that!). I would like to allow her to wear them if she wants to when she returns to my care. I'm pretty sure Children's Services were trying to prove the bedwetting was linked to sexual abuse - unfounded of course - what a waste of time. DD is a very deep sleeper and combined with past chronic constipation and undue pressure from her father to be dry were the main problems. She's not particularly embarrassed about it when she's with me as I don't make a fuss about it. Sighs. Ok, well I guess that's enough from me at the moment. Thank you for caring (to everyone) Angela
	9/7/2010 2:46:36 PM
topic: NEW ZEALAND Angela Church Posts 27	Hi, seriously looking for a therapist in New Zealand. Anyone out there? Any chance of Skype sessions from America being a possibility? Any suggestions welcome.
	9/6/2010 10:04:35 PM
topic: Where to find Parent Support -US jerseymom Posts 2	Hi! I'm looking for help in northern NJ. Anybody know of anything? Thanks!
	9/6/2010 10:03:00 PM
topic: Looking for a psychologist in Northern New Jersey jerseymom Posts 2	Kelly, have you been successful in your search? I am also in same area and in same situation...
	9/4/2010 6:53:52 PM
topic: New video mholben Posts 2	Our K-8 school initial presentation went well, and showing the video was helpful. As expected, we saw folks with us, and we noticed some who were clearly skeptical. Due to an in-the-moment 25 minute reduction in our time, we were forced to make tough choices in editing our content. Fortunately, our principal and vice principal want to meet with us to discuss moving forward. Ed has agreed to work with Kali and me as we slog through mud here in Oregon. I think we have all the key players in place: school psych, all three special education teachers in the behavior continuum at our school, Kali, the mental health therapist, several key teachers and most para educators, speech path, counselor and both the principal and vice principal. We have our work cut out for us with some of the upper grade hold outs, but we plan to focus on the enthusiastic team first. Further
	9/3/2010 2:19:08 PM
topic: Looking for a Supervisor familiar with CPS fostermuttie Posts 1	Hi, My husband and I have been using Cps for a long time, and we are liking it. We are fosterparents. Cps is awesome wish all fosterparent have been trained in it.
	9/2/2010 3:28:15 AM
topic: Difficulty starting a conversation Angela Church Posts 27	Just a thought - can CPS work for adult concrete, black and white thinkers? I think this is what the old adage "ya can't change stupid" alludes to. But we know now that "you can teach an old dog new tricks." I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not a concrete, black and white thinker ... but maybe I am and I just think I'm not??? Should there be a Think:Adults website?
	9/2/2010 3:11:04 AM
topic: Getting Out of Bed for School Angela Church Posts 27	Hi Doublejay ... I got your message - Google for this one school phobia. I'm not saying that's what it is - but the tips are the same regardless. Things like "I know it's easy for most kids to go to school, but it's not for you ..." I really can't relate on this one. I liked going to elementary school. Ok so, after Grade 9, I wasn't so keen for a while. I'm probably not the best one to ask on this subject. I had all of the other problems under control - she was bathing/brushing teeth regularly (yay), wearing clean clothes (yay), not hitting or kicking or breaking things (yay - and I'm talking thousands of dollars worth of damage over the years), not bugging the dog when he was eating or sleeping (yay), not peeing on the floor (yay!! I mean daughter, not dog). However, going to school was my last "problem" and children's services (with my ex-husband's approval) swooped in and took her - because I wanted to do CPS instead of reward/punishment someone wrote "Angela doesn't believe in any form of discipline" .... About two years ago, I would be on eggshells waiting for her to wake up in the morning ... she would either yell out "Muuummmy, come and fiiiiind meeee" (when she used to be in shared care with her father, she wasn't allowed out of her room in the morning until someone came to get her) OR she would yell out "I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING SCHOOL." When I heard that, I was pretty sure we were going to have "one of those days". But then sometimes, on those mornings, something would just click and the morning would sail smoothly. No rhyme or reason, seemingly. I wanted to home school her but her father wouldn't agree.
	9/2/2010 2:49:30 AM
topic: Getting My Son Involved in Something! Angela Church Posts 27	Hey there Double J ... I read an article today in the New Zealand Home and Garden magazine about a potter/artist who is about 70 years old. He claims his parents also tried to normalise him - but he really didn't want friends. He has built a mini railroad with his own hands and it's now a tourist attraction. I remember taking a ride on the train years ago, I think when my daughter was one. Serindipity? Not even sure that's the right word. I'm a bit the same. A lot of people are just downright mean. I can see this sometimes with my daughter - everybody pushing her into team sports because her grandfather was an All Black (NZ's national rugby team). I think she prefers individual activities so there's not the feeling and pressure of "letting the team down." And I know she is capable of playing quite happily on her own for long periods of time and will seek out company when the time is right for her. Who says you have to be in a band in order to play the drums? I've got a set of sticks on the sofa across from me and I don't even have a drum kit! I think it was an episode of "Northern Exposure" where someone said (upon having built a catapult to fling a cow or a piano ... they flung the piano I believe) "It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling itself." I guess meaning here that sometimes you can just do things for the pure enjoyment of doing it, rather than having to prove to anyone that you can, or perform or be judged. Hope that made sense.
	9/1/2010 9:32:46 AM
topic: Success Stories? doublejayranch Posts 8	I'm sitting here crying my eyes out after reading Consmom's post!! That is the epitomy of a true success story!!! I'm so happy for you and it is so encouraging to read how far your son has come and you!! My son is 10 and really loves to play the drums. I have tried to encourage him to join our own church's praise band. They're wanting to start a young band, but he is 'scared off' and it's sort of like an approach/avoidance situation. There's probably some anxiety with it, too. I loved reading about how your son is now 'coaching' others with the same frustration(s)! That's so great!! I can only pray and keep 'plugging away' with the CPS model. I'm so thankful I have this forum to tap into!!! Thank you all so much for your honesty and help!!!!! Again, if anyone knows of a support group in South Jersey, please respond!! Happy Trails!!!
	9/1/2010 9:08:31 AM
topic: Bedtime doublejayranch Posts 8	Gabe: Very good to have a former member here! I think my son might be suffering from anxiety before bedtime. Would it have helped you to discuss it to find out where the anxiety is coming from? Just curious to see if this might help my son. He will take his iPod to bed (although I know he's not settling down); at least it seems to help get him into his bed without a huge blow-up! He does listen to music on the iPod; I'm just not so sure it isn't stimulating his brain vs. relaxing it. Thanks!!
	9/1/2010 8:50:37 AM
topic: Getting Out of Bed for School doublejayranch Posts 8	Hello again everyone. This is my son's last year in the local elementary school; he'll be in the 4th grade. My challenge last year was this thought process of "I'm not getting out of bed and therefore, I either think I won't have to go to school or we'll be late." Yes, many mornings were spent arguing (unfortunately) and I know this year I need to implement the Plan B before school begins. I guess I just need some help with the 'drilling down' questions. Please help! Thanks so much!!
	8/29/2010 8:39:38 AM
topic: Where to find Parent Support -US cavdemo Posts 2	Hi all! I live in the central east coast sec of florida and wonder if anyone knows of a support group in this area? Indian River County, Fl??
	8/29/2010 4:53:42 AM
topic: Getting My Son Involved in Something! Angela Church Posts 27	Hi All, I've just put this same comment on two other threads, but again, it's worth repeating in case you don't see it there - there are some great social skills worksheets and checklists available on the web. Google "social skills for children". And to Doublejay - my daughter used to be exactly the same as far as needing to control everything - down to things like, if we were colouring together she would have to choose what picture I would colour - it was frustrating. She was a terrible loser - many a board game trashed; 52-pickup used to be my least favourite game. Google. It makes a difference talking about how when you're playing games you're really playing the friendship game, etc edited by Angela Church on 8/29/2010
	8/29/2010 4:52:18 AM
topic: social skills group for Asperger teens in NE CT. Angela Church Posts 27	Hi patsmom, I've just put this same comment on another thread, but it's worth repeating in case you don't see it there - there are some great social skills worksheets and checklists available on the web. Google "social skills for children".
	8/29/2010 4:50:29 AM
topic: Asperger's Syndrome? Angela Church Posts 27	Google "social skills for children". There are some great worksheets and checklists available for free on the web.
	8/29/2010 4:47:24 AM
topic: Consequences - Social or economic norms Angela Church Posts 27	Hi Allan, I've done a bit of thinking from this persective as well.
	8/29/2010 4:42:52 AM
topic: wont talk Angela Church Posts 27	I found that in the beginning the opportunities to "get through" ie to communicate with my daughter were few and far between ... maybe a couple of times per week. I had to spend a lot of time with her waiting for those moments and once we got started, the moments became more and more frequent. You're at the beginning of a worthy journey.
	8/26/2010 5:06:23 PM
topic: New video sablon Posts 11	Great to hear that you are getting some traction. Let us know how we can help!
	8/26/2010 2:29:14 PM
topic: New video mholben Posts 2	Our K-8 Portland Public School is beginning the school year with a two hour presentation on CPS. I think we'll show this video, as it provides an excellent overview of the model as well as the commitment from state leadership on supporting efforts. Luckily, what began last year as an informal presentation and discussion group at a school inservice late-opening has gained its own momentum from a staff who was open to a new approach to meeting the needs of all of our students. Many staff members bought a copy of Lost At School and two weekly book club sessions before and after school continued through the school year. Coming from Pioneer Special Schools, where much of the supporting data was gathered, it has been rewarding and amazing to watch this model sell itself to our Roseway Heights staff. It's going to be a great year.
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